Parenting coach Shivani Tyagi champions the powerful approach of openly expressing emotions to children. By calmly naming feelings like tiredness, parents teach vital lessons in emotional intelligence, showing that all emotions are valid, can be spoken, and that healthy responses lead to stronger family bonds and empathetic children.
In an inspiring approach to modern parenting, Shivani Tyagi, a dedicated parenting coach and influencer, is transforming how families navigate emotions. Through her insights, she illuminates the profound benefits of openly expressing feelings, not just for parents, but significantly for their children's emotional growth. This refreshing perspective challenges the conventional notion that parents must always appear 'fine,' demonstrating instead that authenticity can be a powerful teaching tool.
Shivani's own experience with her daughter, Ahana, beautifully illustrates this philosophy. After a tiring seven- to eight-hour car journey, Shivani found herself exhausted, while Ahana, full of youthful energy, eagerly requested playtime. Instead of masking her fatigue, Shivani gently communicated, 'Ahana, I’m very, very tired and exhausted. I need some time.' The heartwarming response was Ahana coming to sit beside her, offering comforting hugs and kisses. This simple exchange underscored a vital lesson: children don't need parents to conceal their true feelings; they thrive when shown healthy emotional expression.
Shivani, who shares her wisdom on Instagram as @parenting_with_shivani, emphasizes that children are incredibly perceptive. They often sense when something is amiss, and by calmly naming our feelings, we provide context and understanding. 'By naming feelings calmly, we teach three things at once: all emotions are allowed here, feelings can be spoken instead of exploded, and hard moments pass,' Shivani explains. This empowers children to understand that feelings like tiredness, frustration, or feeling overwhelmed are normal and can be managed.
She advocates a straightforward three-part approach: name the feeling, state what you need, and offer reassurance. For instance, a parent might say, 'Mumma’s body is very tired today. I need some rest, then we’ll play,' or 'I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths before we talk.' Crucially, reassurance is added: 'It’s not because of you. Grown-ups get big feelings too, and I know how to take care of mine.' This distinction helps children understand that while emotions are universal, they are not responsible for their parents' feelings.
This conscious modeling teaches children invaluable coping mechanisms and emotional regulation. It’s about letting children witness the manageable, healthy version of an emotion, rather than burdening them with adult anxieties. Over time, these consistent, honest interactions foster an environment where children feel safe to acknowledge their own emotions, ask for support, and connect with others. Just as Ahana learned to offer love and comfort in response to her mother's honesty, children can grow up confident in expressing themselves and understanding the beauty of empathy and genuine connection.
Source: The Better India